The toughest job in the music world

Who in the world needs this job? It is in Musical America. It is as an artist's personal assistant.

This sounds like a pretty eminent artist, but all that is clear is that the artist is based in Chicago. It would be a good guessing game to try to figure out who it is.

The personal assistant will be expected to:

• Handle incoming and outgoing correspondence via phone, fax, mail, and e-mail
• Maintain personal and professional schedules and coordinate with family, artist management, publicity team, presenters, and philanthropic organizations
• Monitor and update professional website content (e.g. tour dates), bios, blogs, Facebook, etc.
• Prepare newsletters, tweets, and other materials announcing upcoming performances, new podcasts, recordings, videos, etc.
• Arrange travel, visas, and accommodations
• Perform basic accounting tasks
• Monitor merchandise inventory and fill customer orders
• Assist employer and employer’s family with daily household tasks, errands, and basic home maintenance
• Perform a variety of activities to allow the employer and the employer’s family to focus on their individual jobs and activities

These duties are enough to make your head spin! Basic home maintenance! Just that by itself, forget it.

Who in the world could do this job?

There was one time when I kind of hit it off with this one artist I was interviewing for The Buffalo News and he was suggesting that maybe I could be his personal assistant. A few emails went back and forth, enough to make me believe he was not totally kidding. I liked and admired this artist and I have to say I considered the offer. For about five minutes.

Then I realized it involved making travel arrangements.

"Oh, no," I said. "I'm not good at that."

"Well, it wouldn't be that difficult --"

"Oh, no," I said. "No, no. I really couldn't. I'm not organized enough."

What a nightmare, the idea of me making anyone's travel arrangements! He would be due to be in Portland, Ore., and I would have him in Portland, Maine. On top of all that stress I would have had to move to New York City, another minus. See, this was discussed. I told you he was serious.

Now reading this ad I am super glad I went no further with that idea. What an onerous job being a personal assistant must be. What a weight on the shoulders!

Oh, no thank you!